My friend had a show tonight.  There's this rather tiny theater a few towns over that does community theater. It's really kind of sweet.  The show tonight was the Wizard of Oz.  My friend had three little parts but she definently (sp?) made the most out of all of them.  I bought her flowers.  They're going to die soon and I got a discount on them with my mom's Big Y coin...but it's the thought that counts. If she wasn't in it I would never have gone. Never. It was three fucking hours.  They all did really well though, it was like the movie which I guess is why I was able to just kind of zone out sometimes.  They acted like the characters in the movie. I could predict lines and that's not so much fun.  Though they did add some of their own ideas, their own jokes, even some of their own songs.  IT was all worth it in the end when I saw my friend and she was soo happy that I showed up and supported her (because I only knew one other person in the cast and had no idea he was in it...I wouldn't have come for him though). 

I realize though, the importance of going to something for someone.  My school did A Midsummer Night's Dream.  I played Bottom...who get's turned into a donkey.  Not to sound completely egotistical--okay yes I will, this is my journal I can be as self-involved as I want.  But people came up to me and said I was the best part of the play. Which I can believe--not that they others were bad, but their parts are a drag to listen to. I was the comedic relief.

Two of my best friends didn't go to the show. All my other friends came but the two that were my closest at the time didn't.  I later learned that one was really really sick and the other came up to me Monday morning and told me how sorry she was but there was no one who could take her--she said she cried and I could tell she was really sorry.  It didn't stop me from being upset though.  I worked my ass off on that play for four months and they couldn't take a weekend to come see it. For two hours they couldn't do it? It pissed me off--righteously.  I went to the winter concert--something I didn't do for my own brother--to listen to her little duet in jingle bells. I listened to the middle school chorus (something NOBODY should have to do) they BUTCHERED Buttercup.  To listen to her sing for about ten minutes.  It didn't mean anything to her but I felt compelled to go.  But so many others showed up for me, my grandmother bought me a GORGEOUS bouquet and the after parties with the cast took my mind off it easily.

Anyway, the point is being there for people, especially when it's so important, it's what they remember.

--Amanda

My name is Amanda.

Sometimes I feel like I could be so many things, and at the same time I am none of it. I think one of the greatest mysteries and searches of life is to find something that you are exceptionally good at so naturally it's almost as easy as breathing.  I have yet to find that.  My aspirations (I don't even know if I use that word correctly) change almost weekly.  One day I want to write, next month I want to be a broadway singer, television actress, art restorer.

Some things are funny. We have an ENTIRE world to explore. It's huge (mostly because we are so small) and all I want is an apartment one state over.

I'm sixteen, I have time--I hope. I can't drive yet. A part of me is enthused at the idea of driving off to the mall or Noho when I want to. At the same time I am absolutely terrified of getting behind the wheel. Merging onto a highway scares me the most.

This post so far makes me sound like a pessimistic teenager who's hating the world. Quite the opposite. I'm extremely optimistic about most things.  I don't feel that I'm living my teenage life though. I don't go to parties--mainly because I am not invited. It's not that I don't have friends it's just I have two crowds of friends (well more than that) one of whom is probably full of some hardcore partiers and another that is connected to some partiers but they wouldn't ever get drunk themselves. They're like morally against it--whatev.

But that is an intro into my somewhat life. I hope to get friends on mindsay. I have a journal at livejournal. From that site I kept one friend. I had three good ones. THe first one lied to us so often that you just don't come back from that. And the other was a two faced evil bitch--nuff said. The third is sweet and I adore her.

that's all for now

--Amanda